Be Careful What You Wish For
by Serena-loves-Angst
Summary: Full title is "Be Careful What You Wish For or Your Ass May be Filled with a Chinko You Don't Want!" This is the sequel to "When You Tell Your Lover That You've Done Yourself They'll Think It's Hot" Filled with slave-trading and smut! HijiGin and TakaGin!
1. Chapter 1

**Hi guys! I know, I know, what the fuck am I doing by putting up another FF? Well, I've been asked to make a sequel to**_**When You Tell Your Lover That You've Done Yourself They'll Think It's Hot**_**and I couldn't help myself :3 This is for**_Mystical Crimson Dance_**,**_NekoVaria_**, and all of the others who've wanted a sequel!**

**BTW, this is going to be multi-chaptered, dunno how many though... Ah who the hell cares!**

**Without further adieu,**

**Read, Enjoy, and REVIEW!**

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**Be Careful What You Wish For or Your Ass May be Filled with a Chinko You Don't Want!**

Chapter One

_Serena-loves-Angst_

Gintoki yawns, turning over.

"Strawberries… parfaits… sweets… damn blood sugar…" He snores. He then turns over, a distinct *_SHATTER_* sounding. Gintoki's eyes widen and he shoots up, turning he sees that he'd just broken Hijikata's precious mayo lighter!

"Ohhhhh! Why me? I'm too younggggggggggggggggg!" It sobs, making squeaky yells.

"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Gintoki screamed nothing at all like a girl. Anyone wanting to claim he did can find themselves dying a sudden sugary death… Gintoki clears his throat, composing himself like any mature man would.

"Why the fuck can you taaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaal k?!" He shouts at it.

The mayo-lighter pieces make a sniffle, "Well, my owner is traveling with a mage and a ninja to get back my memories. Sometimes I feel like I know my owner, but I'm in love with him and this one person I just can't remember! And I―"

"Oi, oi, oiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! This ain't Tsubasa!" Gintoki points at it accusingly, exasperated.

"UWAHHHHHHHHHHH! Hijikata-owner-taaaaaaaaaaaaan!" It shrieks in a high-pitched and squeaky yell.

The sliding door opens, revealing Hijikata.

_Shimataaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!_

"Oi, sugar-freak, I left my lighter here and―" He cuts himself off as he sees the shattered state of his precious lighter.

"Mayokura? Mayokura! Speak to me! Don't make me rewind time again to save youuuuuuuu!" Hijikata cries as he drops onto his knees, tearfully holding up the pieces.

"Oi! This ain't Tsubasa even if you combine Mayo and Sakura together!" Gintoki shouts in exasperation.

Hijikata dutifully ignores him in favor of listening to the last words of his lighter.

"I *_cough_* won't make it Hijiran―"

"Oi, oi, didn't you hear me? That's just a lame attempt at combining Hijikata and Syaoran together!" Gintoki yells.

"―you'll *_hack_* *_cough_* have to go on without me~ I lo―" It trails off, dead.

Hijikata is silent, his eyes shaded by his hair. Slowly, he turns, finally looking at the wide-eyed Gintoki.

"_You fucking bastard._" He snarls, lunging at Gintoki expectedly.

Gintoki's battle senses come in and he rolls over to avoid Hijikata.

"Now, now, let's talk, Oogushi-kun…" Gintoki says, hands raised.

"The second you die of sugar-poisoning!" He growls, charging.

Gintoki dodges, ducking when Hijikata whips out his sword and slashes it at his head.

Gintoki looks around for something to defend himself with but doesn't even see his bokuto. _Damnit! Kagura got it destroyed again in the last chapter!_ He remembers. He feels his legs being kicked out from under him and his eyes widen in surprise, since when had Hijikata become this fast? _Or since when had I become this slow?_ He thinks.

_SHINK!_

The sword slides down near his head, cutting his cheek and going through the floor. Hijikata looms over him, pure fury on his features. He rears his fist back and Gintoki closes his eyes, turning his head. _Please don't break Gin-chan's face too badly!_ He thinks. When he feels no knuckles connecting with his cheek or his teeth being knocked out he hesitantly opens his eye. He doesn't see Hijikata on top of him anymore so he opens both eyes and sits up and sees Hijikata.

He's walking away.

Hijikata is _walking away_.

Gintoki opens his mouth to say something but the vice-captain slides the door shut purposefully before he can even get a sound out. Gintoki feels something close to guilt well up in him.

_He must've really loved that lighter…_ He thinks.

**Flashback…**

_Hijikata laughs, dressed in 50's style clothing and spinning around with his hands looped with the ones of the mayo-lighter._

"_Hijikata-dear~ Mayokura-tan~ Come back now! It's time for lunch!" Gintoki calls from his spot on the picnic blanket, picnic-food galore laid out on it. He's wearing a dress and an apron, his hair fluffed up 50's style and looking like some kind of grandmother reliving her youth. Though, you can't say that he's not pulling it off._

"_Come on, champ!" Hijikata says, putting the mayo-lighter on his shoulder. "It's time for lunch! Let's see what your mother made!"_

"_Yay! Food!" Mayokura squeals as Hijikata sits down._

_Hijikata reaches for a mayo bottle and opens it, pouring mayo onto his plate's food._

_Mayokura's eyes are wide. "Aunt Mayortha? Daddy, what are you doing to auntie? You're killing herrrrrrrrrrrrr!"_

_Hijikata and Gintoki laugh, continuing to eat with Hijikata killing more and more of Mayokura's relatives._

**Flashback End…**

Gintoki is bashing his head against the wall. _What the fuck is wrong with you, the-thing-that-is-my-mind?! That never happened!_

'_So sue me, can't I be in a 50's mood?!_' It thinks back.

_Not when I'm supposed to be having a flashback! The readers are fucking traumatized now!_ Gintoki thinks.

'_Fine, do your own thinking then!_'

Gintoki rolls his eyes, somewhat annoyed. Since when was his mind such a _drama queen_?

'_Yeah, yeah, just go and get a new lighter for the man already! Find a way to make up to the man you call your rival/lover, dumbass!_' His mind thinks to him.

…_I thought you weren't going to do my thinking for me…_

'_I… I missed you…_' It sniffles.

Gintoki sighs before getting up and getting dressed.

"A brand new lighter for Oogushi-kun, here I come!" He declares.

* * *

"How the fuck can't there be a single mayo-bottle lighter in this fucking city!? They fucking have chinko-shaped ones but not mayo-bottle shaped?" Gintoki groans as he falls onto his futon.

_Hey, hey, I just realized something…_ Gintoki thinks, _Where the hell are Kagura and Shinguppy?_

'_It's Shinpachi you idiot!_' His mind corrects. '_And don't you remember? They're out doing a job for that one old hag, the one that hates you. She's paying us ¥50,000 for every day they help her while she's going on vacation._' It reminds.

_Huh, I didn't remember that._ Gintoki thinks, picking his nose. Then he stretches his arms before going to the kitchen and grabbing some strawberry milk and gulping it down. He smacks his lips as he notices something different about its taste. _Maybe it's gone bad…_ He thinks, turning it to see the expiration date. It hasn't reached it yet.

"What the…?" He say aloud, the milk carton slipping from his hand and spilling all over the floor. He feels his knees wobble and he grabs the counter, panting and feeling his lids tug with heavy tiredness.

"Hello, Gintoki-kun…" A fat alien walks in, his robes and skin color making him look like a glorified pumpkin.

"Who the fuck are you?" Gintoki growls, feeling some panic rise up in his drugged body.

"Bobby Wong Dong." He answers, making Gintoki burst out into laughter. "Shut up! It isn't my fault that Mommy like Daddy Wong's dong!" The alien, Bobby, shouts.

"Sir," a human in a suit next to him says calmly.

Bobby reigns himself in, "_Ahem_. What we're here for, Gintoki-kun, is _you._" He says.

"Why?" Gintoki manages to ask, feeling himself teetering on the edge of unconsciousness.

Bobby grins, "Slave-trading. You, the Shiroyasha, have some serious enemies. Just think about what one could do with you at their mercy…" He trails off, leaving the rest to imagination.

Gintoki snarls, his imagination quite capable of showing him things. "Never!"

Bobby smirks, "Ah, but you'll be unconscious in three…"

Gintoki blacks out before he reaches one.

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**You want more? REVIEW for it! :D I'm so evil XD See ya~**

**Serena-loves-Angst**


	2. Chapter 2

**I'm soooooooooo sorry about the long update period . FORGIVE ME! Also, just to let you guys know, I edited the last chapter, made some necessary revisions to it as well. So, might wanna go check it out, as well as to refresh your memories since it's been so long -.-'**

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**Chapter Two**

_Serena-loves-Angst_**  
**

Gintoki blinks blearily, waking up. He remembers what'd happened and immediately jolts, but realizes he can't move. He looks and sees that he's dressed in his old Joui uniform and that his hands are trapped in wooden handcuffs. He jerks at the handcuffs, even though he knows that it's useless. He gives up and looks around instead; it looks like he's in a dirt cell.

"So, you're finally awake, Gintoki-kun!" Bobby Wong Dong appears in front of the cell doors.

Gintoki whips his head around to glare at him, "Oi, you glorified pumpkin! Let me out of here!" He demands.

Bobby Wong Dong's eye twitches, "Who're you calling a pumpkin, sex slave?!" He shouts.

_Sex slave?!_ Gintoki thinks, alarmed. "_OI!_ What are you talking about? Sex slave?"

"We told you, you have many enemies, but you have many admirers as well." Bobby Wong Dong leers, "And you can't blame them for lusting." His eyes trail over Gintoki's body and the silver-haired samurai glowers, attempting to hide his shudder of disgust.

"Sir," one of his agents comes up, bowing, "we have arrived at the auction site." He informs.

Bobby Wong Dong grins, and then points to Gintoki. "You know what to do." He tells him.

The agent bows before unlocking the door by using his thumbprint, then steps inside. He makes his way to Gintoki, who waits until he's close enough. Once he is he shoots his leg out, attempting and succeeding to catch the agent off guard. The agent and Gintoki leap to their feet at the same time and Gintoki kicks at his chest, but the agent catches it. Gintoki then twists his body as he brings up his other leg to kick at him. The agent, expecting this, catches it too. Gintoki falls, his legs are the only part of his body held up. The agent drops down, pinning Gintoki by sitting on his stomach.

"I'm afraid this is for safety precautions, please accept my apologies." The agent says monotonously, pressing a spot on Gintoki's neck to make him black out.

_Shit…_ Gintoki thinks as he starts to go into unconsciousness. _Looks like I won't be able to get you a new lighter soon, Oogushi-kun…_

* * *

"Wake up."

Gintoki hears a voice pierce through his sleep, and he slowly feels himself come to. His eyes flutter open and he looks up, seeing a shadowy figure blocking the light.

"Who…?" He starts.

"No time, you're already late." The person informs him, grabbing him by the arm and dragging him along.

"For what?" Gintoki manages to ask, more awake now.

"Your auction."

This brings everything rushing back to Gintoki and he's about to make an angered remark but the figure stops in front of some curtains, pushing Gintoki forward through them.

Silence.

Gintoki feels himself tense as he sees many old faces, and some new ones. All of them looking at him hungrily, whether in lust for blood or just plain lust.

"And the guest of honor himself has arrived!" Bobby Wong Dong booms jovially, "Now, let's get down to bidding. We start at 10 million, anyone, anyone?"

Most raise their cards.

"50 million!"

"60 million!"

"65 million!"

"70 million!"

"100 million!"

"200 million!"

Many of them shout.

"500 million!" One voice shouts over the crowd and they all quiet.

"500 million, anyone willing to bet more than 500 million?" Bobby Wong Dong asks, "500 million, once again!" Gintoki looks at the one who'd said 500 million, and he recognizes the old Amanto who had once ambushed his battalion at one point.

"700 million." A cool voice says, making everyone turn to the source. It's a man smoking a pipe, clad in a purple yukata. Gintoki's maroon eyes widen as they lock with the smoky orbs of Takasugi's.

"700 million, anyone willing to bet more than 700 million?" Bobby Wong Dong breaks the silence, but no one else dares to. "Once again, 700 million!" He continues, but no one speaks. "Sold! For 700 million, Sakata Gintoki will go to Takasugi Shinsuke!"

Takasugi raises his head up a little more, smirking. Gintoki only gulps at the thought of being at the mercy of his old teammate turned terrorist. He's been different ever since Shoyo-sensei was…

_Don't worry, if he came here on a ship then that means that he must have some kind of emergency escape vessel onboard. I can get away on it and eventually find my way back to Earth._ Gintoki thinks to himself assuringly.

'_Yeah, I doubt that. Takasugi will kill you, or have his way with you _and then_ kill you before that can happen._' Gintoki's mind thinks to him.

_Oi! Whatever happened to being optimistic, eh?!_ Gintoki thinks furiously, but he knows that his mind is right. He sighs, letting himself be taken back behind the curtains.

"Would you like him broken in or given to you as is?"

Gintoki's ears perk as he hears Bobby Wong Dong ask this to Takasugi and he looks up, warily curious.

Takasugi sees him and smirks, walking over. He slides his index finger under Gintoki's chin, making him tilt his head up, and Gintoki glowers in return.

"Give him to me as is, I'll take care of breaking him in myself." Takasugi answers, but is looking straight at Gintoki as he says this.

Gintoki's eye twitches and he makes a "hah" noise.

_Oogushi-kun, looks like that silly wish I'd made before is coming true… You better come for me soon…_

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**How much would **_**you**_** pay to buy Gin-chan? *waggles eyebrows* I'm officially curious, review your answers my lovelies!**

**Serena-loves-Angst**


	3. Chapter 3

**Yay! Quicker update time! :D Though, the chapter is shorter -.-' Gomen, gomen. Oh well, better an update than not at all~ Enjoy~ Btw, this chapter is dedicated to **_Alice-Leila_.**Thanks for all of your PMs, girl~ ;)**

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Chapter Three

"Tadaima!" Shinpachi calls, entering the Yorozuya apartment with Kagura, who's chowing on some sukonbu. "Gin-san, Kagura and I are home from grocery-shopping!" He shouts, setting the bags down on the table in the kitchen. He waits for Gintoki's everpresent "Did you get the strawberry milk and JUMP?" that is always asked when he returns from shopping. "Gin-san?" He calls, starting to look around for a note or something of the sort. What he does find, is a spilled carton of strawberry milk.

"Oi, what's wrong?" Kagura asks, walking over. "Did Gin-chan leave his and that Shinsengumi demon's business on the table again?" She tilts her head in curiosity.

Shinpachi shakes his head, "No, it's– wait, they did what?!" He screeches out the last part in furious shock.

Kagura waves it off, "It wasn't near the food and Gin-chan remembered to clean it later." She assures, "Anyways– what's Gin-chan's milk doing on the floor?" She stops abruptly, asking the last question once seeing the spilled milk.

"I don't know, that's what I was wondering. Gin-san would never let something like that happen, and even if he did, he'd get someone else to clean it up… or lick it up himself, but I made him promise to never do that again." Shinpachi says.

"He's not here, did he leave a note?" Kagura wonders aloud.

"Not in the kitchen, maybe he left it somewhere else?" Shinpachi says, starting to get worried.

"I'll go check the living room," Kagura shrugs.

"Okay, I'll go check his room." Shinpachi nods, heading to the samurai's room. He slides the door open, seeing nothing too out of place, the usual crumpled sheets and clothes thrown about. He turns, but something catches his eye. He frowns, going in to investigate.

_Is that a… shattered lighter?_ Shinpachi thinks, gently touching the fragments. _It looks like Hijikata-san's lighter…_ Shinpachi sees a slitted hole in the form of a sword cut just a few feet away. _What happened?_ He wonders to himself. _Well, if Hijikata-san's lighter is here, albeit broken, he must know something._ Shinpachi resolves, knowing that Hijikata must've been here sometime from yesterday night to this afternoon. He leaves Gintoki's room, intent on telling Kagura what he's figured out and going to find Hijikata, because even though Gintoki is a very random and careless (not carefree, he's always whining about Kagura's dietary habits draining their pocket money and bank money down to zero) guy, there's just something off about the situation that makes Shinpachi uneasy.

"Sukonbu… bring me more, Pattsuan…" Shinpachi hears Kagura whine from the couch.

A tick mark forms on his forehead and he stomps over to Kagura, seeing exactly what he expected: Kagura asleep on the couch.

"Oi!" He shouts, making Kagura wake up. She sits up, rubbing her eyes with a sleepy yawn.

"What is it, Megane?" She mumbles.

"Gin-san's disappearance might have to do with Hijikata-san, I found his lighter in Gin-san's room; it was shattered beyond repair." Shinpachi explains, pushing up his glasses.

"Why are you so worried about Gin-chan disappearing anyway? He might be out for a job and forgot to have written a note like the forgetful perm-headed slob he is," Kagura points out bluntly.

Shinpachi shakes his head, "No, there's just something too wrong about this. The spilled milk? The lighter? What about the sword slit I found in the tatami mat?" He counters.

Kagura shifts, actually thinking about it, and she does realize there's something off about the situation when she mulls around what Shinpachi says in her mind.

"Alright, let's go see Hijibaka." She agrees, sounding very much like her sadist rival.

Shinpachi sweatdrops, _You're more like Sougo-san than you want to admit, eh, Kagura?_ He thinks. Then, he spares one last glance towards the kitchen and Gintoki's room before leaving with Kagura.

_Don't worry, Gin-san, we'll get to the bottom of this._

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**I know, I know, it's not too eventful, especially since it's so short, but I want to save Hijikata for the next chapter ;) Also, I inserted a OkiKagu quirk in there for the fans, I think it just naturally fits in, no? Sorachi-sensei meant for it to be that way, and it shall! :D Anyways, the reviews fuel my writing, so keep them coming! X3**

**Serena-loves-Angst**


	4. Chapter 4

**Guess who's got a short chapter that has a perverted Hijikata in it~? Yup, it's me :D Enjoy my lovlies!**

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**Chapter Four**

_Serena-loves-Angst_

Hijikata angrily takes a seat in the movie theater, still majorly pissed at Gintoki for breaking his lighter. What right did he have to shatter Mayokura like that?!

None!

That's right; Gintoki had no right to break Mayokura into dozens of tiny pieces! _I'll bust that guy's face next time for sure, no matter how much I like seeing it contort when I'm fu— NO! Bad, Hijikata! You do not think of screwing that idiot when you're furious at him._ He mentally scolds himself.

The lights dim and _My Neighbor Pedro_ flickers to life on the big screen, Hijikata only chose to watch it because on one of his days off he'd gone to see it, but the stupid permhead distracted him. Fucking idiot and his stupid voice (not when he's moaning in pleasure), his stupid lips (that seem to always be perfectly soft and firm yet pliable against his), his hair (not when Hijikata's tugging at it when Gintoki's giving him one of his amazing blowjobs), his stupid fists (not when their tugging on Hijikata's erection during handjobs), and most of all, stupid _Gintoki_.

Hijikata growls, grinding his teeth down on his unlit cigarette (unlit, courtesy of Gintoki). _Screw it, I'm probably going to punch him then fuck him the next time I see him._ He thinks to himself, _Doesn't mean I still won't be mad. He'll have to buy me a new one, and possibly be my slave for the day._ Hijikata almost gets a nosebleed as he thinks about Gintoki being his slave for the day; he's imagining him dressed in a maid's outfit…

_STOP!_ Hijikata yells at himself mentally, does he really have that little control over his thoughts? Shameful, he should just commit seppuku!

Hijikata scoffs at himself before shifting his sitting position so that he can cover up his little…problem. He sits through the next hour and a half trying to control his thoughts; his problem went away easily enough. Why wouldn't a man go flaccid at seeing Pedro in only underwear?

…

After the movie is over Hijikata heads back to the barracks, he'd only gotten half a day off anyways. He throws off his yukata and puts on his work uniform, making sure to dust his shoulder once he sees the speck of dirt on it. He checks himself in the mirror before sliding the tatami door and entering his office, not liking how the 10-foot tall stack of papers on his desk have magically appeared since his time out in the morning.

Hijikata rubs his temples, knowing that it must be either Sougo's new way of trying to kill him (papercut of doom~) or Yamazaki's lack of responsibility in filling out his own damn paperwork ("Hehe, sorry, I was talking to Tama about anpan when a badminton match suddenly erupted on the streets and I _had_ to take part!" Take part Hijikata's ass, he'd be handing Yamazaki his if it was his fault that Hijikata's having to fill out paperwork).

Hijikata sighs, setting down to work.

…

After hours Hijikata finishes the last report, trudging to the sliding door that leads to his room. He doesn't care that he hasn't gotten any dinner; he just wants to sleep and forget that today even happened. So, he enters his room, tossing off his shoes, jacket and socks before climbing into bed. Most nights he would stay over at Gintoki's, since the Yorozuya scarcely came to the barracks. If he did, many of the officers would wonder what the strange moans from Hijikata's office and neither of them wanted that.

_Going out? All we've done is fuck, screw, fuck, screw, and fuck._ Hijikata thinks to himself, _Maybe…Maybe we should actually do something together…_ Hijikata's eyebrows scrunch together, _On a date words have to be exchanged, when you're screwing that's all you're doing, the only vocal things are moans and screams of pleasure._ He thinks, _You're thinking too much into this, Toushiro, just get some sleep._ He sighs, turning over.

_Oogushi-kun, looks like that silly wish I'd made before is coming true… You better come for me soon…_

Hijikata's eyes open and he shoots up off the bed. He looks around, on alert. He could've sword he'd just heard Gintoki's voice!

"Tch, it's nothing." He mutters to himself, going back to himself.

But on the contrary, Hijikata Toushiro, it's not "nothing".

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**Dun dun dun~ Cliffie :D Hee hee~ Review for the next chapter and you'll see the start of some TakaGin goodness!**


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